the turn of the tail
by stella3
Summary: Peter Pettigrew is plagued with strange dreams . . . the story behind his turning to the dark side. I know, I don't like him either, but I wanted to try to rationalize it . . .


Peter woke with a start and glanced frantically around his dormitory

disclaimer: of course, none of these characters belong to me. they belong to the genius known as j.k. rowling. if they did belong to me, do you think i would be dallying here?

author's note: this is an updated version due to Wizdumb Girl and UTSR () reminding me that i made a complete mental lapse and said that there were eight years at Hogwarts. so i changed those numbers to seven. thanks for letting me know!

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**the turn of the tail**

Peter woke with a start and glanced frantically around his dormitory.His fellow seventh-year Gryffindors were still sleeping peacefully.He watched them while he caught his breath:Sirius Black was smiling and drooling slightly, Remus Lupin was letting out soft howls, and James Potter was tossing in his.Peter frowned.He quietly climbed out of bed and walked to an open window, looking outside timidly before closing and locking it.

He had been having the dreams for over a year, once a month at first, but recently it had occurred every night.He had been able to shrug them off at first, but their frequency was unsettling, and in addition, they were evolving.They began as vague shadows, eerie images of his friends.Soon, his friends came into focus and were laughing at him, reminding him of every stupid thing he'd ever done in the seven years they'd known him.But the latest dreams were even more disturbing.Now, a girl had joined the people laughing.Lily Evans appeared in the dream, and while Peter wouldn't find it too unusual to dream about a girl who he found to be attractive, smart, and definitely swoon-worthy, this sort of dream was different.Lily, the Lily he'd daydreamed about for years, appeared in the dream holding James Potter's hand. She too was laughing at him, saying "You thought I would choose _you_ over _James_?"Sirius Black popped up next to them, laughing as well, saying, "Really, Wormtail, you're just too much!"

Peter frowned.That wasn't all to the dreams.Each one featured a deep voice calling out to him.Calling out for Peter to join him.He shook his head.Though they were only dreams, he knew he was being sent these dreams for a reason.And he knew who was sending them.But for some reason, he didn't want to tell anyone.He knew that the right thing to do was to tell Albus Dumbledore, their headmaster, who would then analyze the situation and determine why someone as powerful as Voldemort would choose clumsy Peter Pettigrew as a servant.

But part of Peter wondered if maybe Voldemort was offering him something that he needed.Maybe the dreams were true.He knew that his relationship with his three best friends was very different from their relationships with each other.Sirius, Remus, and James respected each other; they were quick-witted and popular and everything Peter couldn't quite seem to be.And Peter wondered if the only way to earn anyone's respect was to become feared.His heart sunk as he thought this, and he turned away from the window.James' eyes were blinking open sleepily.

"Wormtail?" he groaned."What time is it?"

"Four thirty in the morning," Peter whispered.

"What are you doing up?Go to sleep!" James said groggily, turning over and shivering slightly.Peter frowned.He crawled back into bed and willed himself to stay awake, or to drift into dreamless sleep.

"I'm kind of worried about Peter," James admitted to Sirius and Remus the next day at breakfast."I caught him up again last night, at 4:30.And you have to admit, he hasn't been himself lately."Remus looked thoughtful, but Sirius smiled.

"And that's a bad thing?" he exclaimed, and James frowned.

"And I still can't bring myself to tell him about me and Lily," he said, looking down at his shoes.

"It's not your fault the girl liked you and not him!" Sirius said, shaking his head.

"It's not like I planned it!" James exclaimed."And it's not like we're even dating . . . I want to talk to Peter before I even ask her out."

"Well, I think that's respectable of you.I mean, what more can you do?" Remus said, and James sighed.

"Hey guys!" Peter exclaimed, sitting down with them and hurriedly buttering his toast.

"Hey Wormy!" Sirius exclaimed, flicking a spoonful of oatmeal towards him.Peter scrunched up his nose and wiped the oatmeal from his robes.

"Uh, thanks, Sirius," he said, eating his toast.

"No problem, buddy," Sirius smiled."Sleep well last night?" he asked, and James glared at him.Peter's eyes widened as he glanced at Sirius, but he decided not to mention anything.

"Sure," Peter said, concentrating on his toast.

"Well I hope we're all rested up, because I'm pretty sure we're having a pop quiz today in McGonagall's class," Remus interjected, changing the subject.Peter looked panicked.

"A pop quiz?But, I haven't even practiced the new transfigurations!" he exclaimed.

"Don't sweat it, Peter.We're almost out of here, and you've already got your O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s back.What does a grade in McGonagall's class matter?" James pointed out.Peter calmed down slightly, though the image of his mother hearing about a poor grade remained in the back of his head.

"I'll tell you what a grade in her class matters.It matters to Petey's mum, doesn't it, Wormy?" Sirius grinned, and Peter blushed.He stood with a flourish and sat again next to Peter, placing an arm around him and rubbing his head."Leetle Petey wants to make his mummy happy, doesn't he?Like the good little girl he is!" Sirius laughed, and Peter turned bright red.He felt as if everyone at the Gryffindor table was staring at him and laughing.He picked up his remaining piece of toast and hurled it at Sirius before running from the room.James and Remus stared at Sirius, who just shrugged.

"You just had to do that, didn't you?You know how he feels about his mother," James said, crossing his arms.

"She's a dying woman, Sirius.Would you want someone making fun of _your_ mother?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow.Sirius stopped smiling and looked uncomfortable.

"I . . . I, um, forgot about his mother," he said sheepishly."Of course I wouldn't want anyone talking about my mother."His usual cheerful expression had faded to a much more sober one as he considered his deceased mother."I'll apologize in Transfiguration.He can't be too sore," he said, trying to shrug it off.

"First years were laughing at him!" James sighed, and Sirius looked thoughtful as he wiped the toast out of his lap.

"That's it!" Peter exclaimed, alone in his dorm room."I've had enough!Just tell me where to go next time!Tell me where to go and I'll be there!" he shouted at the ceiling and knew that someone out there was listening.

James became even more worried when Peter wasn't in Transfiguration, and Sirius couldn't apologize.They found him around lunch time, asleep on his bed.He looked strangely peaceful there, a contented look flitting across his lips.

"Don't wake him," Remus said, holding Sirius back."He looks happy.And he needs sleep."

"Thank you, Dr. Moony," Sirius said, leading James and Remus down a staircase towards their common room.As they left, Peter's eyes fluttered open, and he gasped for air.He had been heard.He knew where to go.There was just one thing he needed to know before he did anything drastic.

That night, the Gryffindor common room was full of students who didn't want to study.James and Sirius were involved in a brutal game of wizard chess, and Remus was playing exploding snap with a fifth-year boy named Frank Longbottom.Peter glanced around the room, not wanting to be seen by his friends.He saw who he was looking for.Lily Evans was curled up on a chair, reading their Charms textbook and ignoring everyone else in the room.The fireplace cast an orange glow on her long red hair, and her pale skin looked warm and smooth.Her green eyes flitted across the page, while she bit her lip slightly.Peter gulped before walking towards her.

"Um, Lily?" he said quietly.She looked up, and her eyes met his.She looked confused.

"Yes, Peter?" she asked, noticing how terribly nervous he looked.

"Could I talk to you for a moment?Um, in private?" he asked, and she nodded, still confused, but following him to the stairwell to the girl's dormitories, where they climbed enough stairs to be out of the view of the others in the common room.

"What is it?" she asked, a bit worried.

"Well, I just wanted to . . . well, find something out," he said, staring at his shoes."I mean, well, what I mean is . . ."She smiled, and he gulped again.Her smile was making it even harder for him to speak."It's just that I've always thought you were such a nice girl, and I wondered . . . I mean, I hoped . . ."

"Peter . . . are you asking me out?" she said with disbelief.

"Um, well, I guess I am," he said, and she paused."What are you thinking?" he asked, and she shook her head quickly.

"Nothing, Peter, I'm just a bit taken aback.I never realized . . . I mean, I never thought—" she began, but was cut off when Peter impulsively and in a fit of courage stood on his tiptoes and planted a kiss on her lips.She pulled back, with wide eyes, and turned towards the common room.

"It's James, isn't it?" he asked, watching her look for him among the crowded room.She looked back at him with a hopeless look on her face and nodded.

"I'm so sorry, Peter," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder."I do think very highly of you."He took a step backwards, out of her reach.

"It's really okay, Lily.I just wanted to . . . find out . . ." he said, hurrying back down the stairs and climbing through the portrait hole before he could be seen.

He walked the same path he had seen in his dream, following a secret passage he hadn't known to exist.He found himself in a clearing, surrounded by trees and tall grass and veiled in a gray mist.Looking up, he saw bright stars shining from their velvet backdrop.He followed another path and came to a cave.He stood up straight, straightening out his robes, determined to make a good impression.He walked into the cave.

A figure sat on a rock, a black hooded robe hiding most of his face.A large snake was curled up in a corner, eyeing Peter as he approached.The hooded figure lifted its head to gaze at Peter.

"Ah, Wormtail, you've finally come," he said in a deep voice."I knew you would."


End file.
